Sometimes I wish for love.
Now is the moment.
Sigh.

After enduring 4 days at the expo food fair, it's finally over. No more unpleasant smells and KS aunties + uncles. Even though sometimes I'd very much like to strangle and shout at the unreasonable customers, I kept my cool.
So, now that I've got my pay, I'm gonna go SHOPPING ((: with my SH!

I haven't started on my revision for MYE and I wanna play ball so badly. Shucks.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO ME ((: !!!!! Wee~

Thank you BBGT for the Adidas tote.
Thank you Lynn, Chang Ting and Sasha for the alcohol.
Thank you Yvon, Ming Kai, Ang Moh, Joei, Justina, Joyce and the rest of my friends for their well wishes.
Thank you Mom for bringing us to Bedok South which sold fab Beef stew.

Yay, contentment.

Monday blues don't ususally struck me, but today, it did. My guess is that I slept too much yesterday, thrice to be exact. Econs essay barely finished. Managed to finish 2 questions while pacing in and out of my room to catch Spider-Man 2. School and homework totally turns me off.
Marky's absent again, but yay for us. Skipped physics tutorial to catch AJC's match at SBC. Both the girls and guys lost.
Lynn's finally got a phone! Now I wouldn't have to frantically look all over for her when she disappers while i'm inside the washroom. She's new and not used to the toy. Sent me half typed messages like 'LOL ur friend is d'. The flu bug's caught her and she used it as an excuse for her inability to text me properly. Haha.

Celebrated my birthday with my girls last Saturday. Love the dress and choker ((:.

Gonna work for 4 days, starting from this Sat. Having my GP MYE on the same day as well.
Damn, I really don't wanna screw my MYE or I'm really gonna have coffee with Mr.K in term 3. My motivation is missing, shit. Tomorrow, I'm gonna wish it back.

还有多一个礼拜， 第二个学期就即将结束。心里充满了复杂的心情，不知应该感到开心或害怕。假期过后就是年中考试的开始。现在的我还时时反省，知道对于每一个科目的了解还只是马马虎虎而已。虽然想加倍努力，但是心里似乎有一道章碍。最近才刚刚把复杂与不愉快的心情抛开，再重新面对生活，希望我能够这样持续下去。

Sigh, I thought that I'll have a chance to play in Youth Cup, but alas, my hopes are dashed because no.11 exchanged her jersey with her friend and somehow she can't get it back? Or maybe she doesn't want to. Shucks )):. I seriously wanna play and don't mind paying to make the jersey. Haha.

Today's a 'taxi' day. Cabbed down to SBC to watch the Basketball Girls' semi-finals. Took a taxi down to Toa Payoh Sports hall again to support the Volleyball Boys. Cabbed down to ZH again to play ball in school.
YAY! NYJC Volleyball Boys Team won the National Volleyball Championships ((:. *chants Champions, Champions.

6 more days, 6 more days.

Even though I'd like to ditch the fact that whenever my right eyebrow 'jumps', something bad is gonna happen, it always proves me wrong. I was walking to the staffroom to see if I could obtain Ms Teo's and Mrs Heng's contact number when Marky walked my way. She asked me about my absence during the Principle's talk last wednesday. To be honest, I lied to her, but I'm not apologetic bcos the talk is all about achieving quality grades and whatnots AGAIN! I pulled a long face while she rambled on and on about the seriousness of this issue. Finally she said "We'll go see Mr Kwek now." So I was like, okay fine whatever.
I'd love to think that Mr Kwek is being magnanimous since he didn't pursue the reason for my absence. However, he explained that he was busy dealing with the demise of an important committee member, so his mind was probably occupied with that issue instead of a minor case like me. After looking through the name list, he explained to me his rationale for picking out these students blah blah blah, that they're just trying to help us and not reprimand us blah blah blah. I got emotional, and broke down. Marky comforted me by patting her hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and shuffled towards the chair. Mr.K tried to comfort me and add humor into the conversation, which made me felt better.
I told Marky that I didn't wanna talk about the issue anymore, but she insisted on 'helping' me. Of all places, she choose to sit me down by the Ebloussoint (or however you spell it). It was fucking embarassing, I hung my head low while she spoke to me. Frankly, I didn't want to tell her anything at all; I never told anyone about my inner most feelings anyway, so she's not an exception. She left me alone only after we stepped out of the washroom. Sigh.

Gossiped quite abit with Faith during our long break today. Now I do realise that why L&L are so compatible. HAHA. I'm glad I don't have to see L's true colours for myself since Faith already exposed her real identity. What a bitch. L isn't any better than his girl anyway.

The physics tutor whom my mom found in the ST ad has a terrible BO and bad breath. Seriously, I could hardly breathe. After a torturous one & a half hours lesson, I told him that that was it for the day. HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO CONTINUE FOR ANOTHER 30mins (his rate is $45/hr), I totally rejected the idea(+ rolls eyes). Hopefully he'll stock up on deodorant and at least toothpaste+toothebrush or not Listerine with his $68. Didn't his parents teach him the importance of hygiene? Ewwww.

There's a blogger problem since like 93732620 days ago and it's still not fixed. Suckers.
I dread being 18. No, I'm not afraid of getting old or being one step closer to becoming an adult. Hitting the legal age is something. Buying booze and nicotine is as easy as 1-2-3. Them being my life support is equivalent to me being screwed so bad, conventional and electric drills can never 'unscrew' me.
I'd very much love to be an ordinarty school girl getting straight A's. Instead, I bombard myself with irrational thoughts and brood over things that people say or do to me. Consoling myself doesn't work. Seld-convincing is useless.
Up till this day, I wonder if I'm sane or insane.
Fuck, I seriously need to see a shrink.

Natural failure at almost anything.
I can start digging my own grave now.

The new exco is 'out of the over'!

Captain: XinYing
V.Captain: Joyce
Treasurer: ShuWen
Welfare: HuiLing
QM: AngMoh
AQM: TingYing

I'm most glad for my 3 zh juniors ((:. Just do everything to the best of your abilities. Train hard, and make your way to the top 4 next year.














I am terribly disturbed by the fact that I wasn't part of their plan. It almost makes me feel like I'm responsible for their union of just because of a stupid mishap. Am I not comparable to those 2 sons of yours? AM I EVEN WORTHY TO BE PUT ON PAR WITH THOSE 2? ARE YA'LL NOT PROUD OF ME AND MY ACHIEVEMENTS FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS? What am I even to ya'll, that's the question that bugs me everyday. Sometimes, I wish that I could just pull a trigger.

说长不长， 说短不短， 我的篮球事业已经到了尾生。 心里依依不舍的只有对篮球的那份热诚和在球场上拼搏的感觉。令我非常惊讶的是，输的那三场球赛， 我都哭了。可能因为心里太想赢了，又觉得球队的队员有充分的实力赢得比赛，造成赛后的痛苦和泪水。有期望，就会有失望。但都已经尽力了，再也没有第二次的机会让我们再重新来过。把失望和怨恨埋都抛开，迈向下一个目标 - A水准会考。 我当然会想念这六年来所接受的培训和锻练。它不仅是我生活的一部分，也是我的推动力，让我想为生活的一切卖力。因此，我对生命也有了新的意义。 最怀念的还是在中华的那四年。 那种团队精神和毅力是无法用语言来形容的。

Without ya'll, my life would be in ruins. As how Sheryl would have said it, "Thank you U". (:

I swear I would have throw confetti and scream my lungs out when v said marky wasn't in school today, but we were in the LT so I kept my composure and raised both my arms in triumph instead. ((: So sorry, but I skipped physics tutorial again and the Physics tutor which I called up only teaches H2 students. Shucks. And its a group tuition. Read this: XIANGYUN fucking hates group tuition. Period.

Ok, so we had team-bonding at macs again this morning. Inititally I wanted to sleep in till its time for econs tutorial but A.M reminded me last night about it, so I went anyway. Well, coincidentally I saw PONG PA BIN aka Leow Wan Win. Its funny cos I thought about her last night. Got a wonderful concoction of nicotine and perfume stained on my freshly pressed uniform after we hugged.

Breakfast conversations were interesting. I'd miss the J1s, they're a far more interactive and jovial lot. Most of all, they appreciate my jokes and comments. ((:

15 more days till I hit 18. So exciting!!!!!